10 Worst Current Car Model Names

A little while ago, I covered my top ten favorite car model names, and now it's time to look at the worst ten of the current crop of vehicles. Note that this is only for the United States market, which excludes all of the absurd names from Japan-only cars, like the Nissan Homy Super Long. This also leaves out the European markets, but in the future I will do a top ten list that covers those vehicles. Without further ado, here are the worst ten current model names:

10. Toyota Yaris

Toyota Yaris at the 2015 NYIAS

The unusual name Yaris is derived from the singular form of "Charites," the Greek goddesses of charm and beauty. All three generations of the Yaris (sold as the Echo in the US in its first iteration) have been neither beautiful nor charming, instead being bland and forgettable. I guess Toyota thinks too highly of its designers, because the name Yaris simply doesn't fit.

9. Volkswagen Tiguan

VW Tiguan GTE Active Concept at the 2016 NYIAS

Tiguan sounds weird, but it gets even stranger once you know where the name comes from. Supposedly, Tiguan is a portmanteau of the German words for Tiger ("tiger") and iguana ("leguan"). I am not sure how tigers and iguanas are related, and what either animal has to do with a German compact crossover. This combination is odd and very contrived.

8. Buick LaCrosse

Buick LaCrosse at the 2016 NYIAS

I always assumed that the LaCrosse was named for something other than the sport, but believe it or not, it is. Why a sensible premium sedan is named for an often violent, fast-paced sport is beyond me, but what I also dislike about this name is the way GM decided to spell it out. Last I checked, lacrosse did not have a uppercase "C," so this capitalization feels totally unnecessary.

7. Mitsubishi Mirage

Mistubishi Mirage at the 2016 NYIAS

Mirage is a fun word to say since the "aaj" sound rolls off the tongue well, but the definition makes customers second-guess the hatchback's abilities. The official definition according to Merriam-Webster is "something that you hope for or want but is not possible or real." Considering that Mistubishi's fuel economy numbers have been a mirage for many Japanese customers since 2002, this is not a moniker that establishes confidence in the customer.

6. Hyundai Veloster

Hyundai Veloster at the 2014 NYIAS

According to Hyundai, Veloster is a combination of "velocity" and "roadster." The first thing that is obviously wrong with the name is that the Veloster is not a roadster, but a hatchback. The "velocity" part is also misleading--the base comes with a paltry 132 hp (adding a turbo gets the inline-4 to 201 hp), and the zero to sixty times never breach the 6.8 second mark. While the name is not in any way applicable to the hatch, my biggest issue with it is that the word simply sounds childish.

5. Maserati Ghibli

Maserati Ghibli at the 2016 NYIAS

Yes, I know the Ghibli name hearkens back to 1960's grand tourer, but still the name sounds really odd to me. The combination of i's and l's does not communicate luxury or sportiness to my ears--instead I picture a small Japanese kei car. Perhaps it is that Ghibli makes me think of the comedic dwarf character Gimli from the Lord of the Rings franchise, but this does not feel like an appropriate name for a luxury sedan.

4. Mercedes-Benz Metris

Mercedes-Benz Metris at the 2015 NYIAS

I love vans, and I welcome any new entry to the American van market, but the name Mercedes chose for their newest small van confuses me. I haven't been able to find a meaning behind it, and whenever I read or say it I think of Tetris, the famous tile-matching puzzle video game.

3. Jaguar F-Pace

Jaguar F-Pace at the 2016 NYIAS

Admit it. F-Pace does not sound smooth, despite the SUV's sleek bodywork. The name does not follow Jaguar's current naming scheme, an X followed by another letter (XE, XF, XJ). By starting the name with an F, it inherently sounds like a vulgar insult. Overall, the name is not dynamic and does not conjure up images of speed or luxury.

2. Ferrari LaFerrari

Ferrari LaFerrari at the Ferrari Museum in Modena

Oh no! A Ferrari on a "worst of" list! What a sacrilege! The LaFerrari is certainly an automotive spectacle, both for its beauty and insane performance, but the name is completely lazy. It translates as "Ferrari TheFerrari," and the repetition does not sound as sexy as the supercar looks. It is easy to overlook such a bad name when the styling is so stunning and the performance is so dazzling, but when it comes down to it, LaFerrari is a disappointing name.

1. Bentley Bentayga

Bentley Bentayga at the 2016 NYIAS

Bentley's first foray into the SUV segment also has a repetitive name. The name supposedly comes from a mix of the company's name and Taiga, the world's largest transcontinental snow forest, while also being inspired by the Roque Bentayga, a peak in the Canary Islands. The name Taiga is intriguing and exotic, and would have worked great. However, by incorporating the "Bent," the name sounds repetitive and doesn't fit with the staid, luxurious presence of Bentleys. 

Artistic Photo #7

Dodge Challenger in Miami, Florida (Taken on February 14, 2016)

2017 Kia Sportage

Designer Peter Schreyer is best known for his work on the original Audi TT, widely considered to be one of the most beautiful cars of the early 2000s. He is also responsible for turning around Kia's bland, low-end image by pioneering the bold and stylish "Tiger Nose" grille in the late 2000s. He oversaw the attractive designs that caused the new perception of Kia as modern, fashionable vehicles: the third generation Optima, Forte Koup, Soul, and third generation Sportage. As chief designer of Kia, the Korean automaker has continued to churn out distinctive, appealing designs. The fourth generation 2017 Sportage is yet another striking, mostly handsome vehicle, although it does have a couple of minor faults.

Kia says the fresh design is inspired by modern fighter jets. Some of the design elements are reminiscent of military aircraft--the four round fog lights look similar to the rocket launchers on helicopters like the Boeing AH-64 Apache. Additionally, the orientation of the headlights also makes the SUV look a bit like a fighter jet, creating a distinct, set back cockpit and a seemingly pointy front. However, the fact the headlights are significantly higher on the front fascia than the grille gives it a bug-eyed look. This makes the Sportage stand out in the ever-growing herd of crossovers, but also makes the Kia quite odd looking. Luckily, the intricate details of the front end make up for the slightly awkward orientation. The aforementioned fog lights look phenomenal, and the piano black surfacing in the fog lamp housings and grille looks clean and luxurious. The bi-xenon headlights are beautifully complex, and the light of the inside unit looks like a radioactive symbol--perhaps my favorite detail on the Sportage.

Soft, elegant character lines flow rearwards from the front fender, and defined wheel arches give this crossover a slight off-road presence.  Black plastic cladding wraps around the Sportage, from the front bumper, over the wheel wells, under the doors and back to the rear bumper. Plastic can often make a car look cheap if applied in large quantities, but the Sportage's cladding actually adds to the all-terrain image. Chrome lining surrounds the windows, which end abruptly at the rear wheels, leaving a large C-pillar. While this makes the car look more athletic, it could create a very large blind spot.

The rear fascia of the Sportage looks extremely classy and far more premium than the competitors from Ford, Chevy, Honda, and Toyota. The full-width taillight, with its upscale LED components and chrome strip, is reminiscent of the taillights on the current crop of Lincolns. However, it still gives the the Sportage a sophisticated attitude. This is complemented by the sculpted contours on the trunk and bumper. Two large chrome exhaust pipes adds to the Kia's sporty image, while the silver plastic in the bumper contributes to the luxurious appearance. Despite a slightly awkward front end, the new Sportage features an exquisite, high-end design for an affordable price.

Grade
Front: B+
Back: A-
Overall: A-