Showing posts with label Bentley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bentley. Show all posts

Thursday, April 28, 2016

10 Worst Current Car Model Names

A little while ago, I covered my top ten favorite car model names, and now it's time to look at the worst ten of the current crop of vehicles. Note that this is only for the United States market, which excludes all of the absurd names from Japan-only cars, like the Nissan Homy Super Long. This also leaves out the European markets, but in the future I will do a top ten list that covers those vehicles. Without further ado, here are the worst ten current model names:

10. Toyota Yaris
Toyota Yaris at the 2015 NYIAS
The unusual name Yaris is derived from the singular form of "Charites," the Greek goddesses of charm and beauty. All three generations of the Yaris (sold as the Echo in the US in its first iteration) have been neither beautiful nor charming, instead being bland and forgettable. I guess Toyota thinks too highly of its designers, because the name Yaris simply doesn't fit.

9. Volkswagen Tiguan
VW Tiguan GTE Active Concept at the 2016 NYIAS
Tiguan sounds weird, but it gets even stranger once you know where the name comes from. Supposedly, Tiguan is a portmanteau of the German words for Tiger ("tiger") and iguana ("leguan"). I am not sure how tigers and iguanas are related, and what either animal has to do with a German compact crossover. This combination is odd and very contrived.

8. Buick LaCrosse
Buick LaCrosse at the 2016 NYIAS
I always assumed that the LaCrosse was named for something other than the sport, but believe it or not, it is. Why a sensible premium sedan is named for an often violent, fast-paced sport is beyond me, but what I also dislike about this name is the way GM decided to spell it out. Last I checked, lacrosse did not have a uppercase "C," so this capitalization feels totally unnecessary.

7. Mitsubishi Mirage
Mistubishi Mirage at the 2016 NYIAS
Mirage is a fun word to say since the "aaj" sound rolls off the tongue well, but the definition makes customers second-guess the hatchback's abilities. The official definition according to Merriam-Webster is "something that you hope for or want but is not possible or real." Considering that Mistubishi's fuel economy numbers have been a mirage for many Japanese customers since 2002, this is not a moniker that establishes confidence in the customer.

6. Hyundai Veloster
Hyundai Veloster at the 2014 NYIAS
According to Hyundai, Veloster is a combination of "velocity" and "roadster." The first thing that is obviously wrong with the name is that the Veloster is not a roadster, but a hatchback. The "velocity" part is also misleading--the base comes with a paltry 132 hp (adding a turbo gets the inline-4 to 201 hp), and the zero to sixty times never breach the 6.8 second mark. While the name is not in any way applicable to the hatch, my biggest issue with it is that the word simply sounds childish.

5. Maserati Ghibli
Maserati Ghibli at the 2016 NYIAS
Yes, I know the Ghibli name hearkens back to 1960's grand tourer, but still the name sounds really odd to me. The combination of i's and l's does not communicate luxury or sportiness to my ears--instead I picture a small Japanese kei car. Perhaps it is that Ghibli makes me think of the comedic dwarf character Gimli from the Lord of the Rings franchise, but this does not feel like an appropriate name for a luxury sedan.

4. Mercedes-Benz Metris
Mercedes-Benz Metris at the 2015 NYIAS
I love vans, and I welcome any new entry to the American van market, but the name Mercedes chose for their newest small van confuses me. I haven't been able to find a meaning behind it, and whenever I read or say it I think of Tetris, the famous tile-matching puzzle video game.

3. Jaguar F-Pace
Jaguar F-Pace at the 2016 NYIAS
Admit it. F-Pace does not sound smooth, despite the SUV's sleek bodywork. The name does not follow Jaguar's current naming scheme, an X followed by another letter (XE, XF, XJ). By starting the name with an F, it inherently sounds like a vulgar insult. Overall, the name is not dynamic and does not conjure up images of speed or luxury.

2. Ferrari LaFerrari
Ferrari LaFerrari at the Ferrari Museum in Modena
Oh no! A Ferrari on a "worst of" list! What a sacrilege! The LaFerrari is certainly an automotive spectacle, both for its beauty and insane performance, but the name is completely lazy. It translates as "Ferrari TheFerrari," and the repetition does not sound as sexy as the supercar looks. It is easy to overlook such a bad name when the styling is so stunning and the performance is so dazzling, but when it comes down to it, LaFerrari is a disappointing name.

1. Bentley Bentayga
Bentley Bentayga at the 2016 NYIAS
Bentley's first foray into the SUV segment also has a repetitive name. The name supposedly comes from a mix of the company's name and Taiga, the world's largest transcontinental snow forest, while also being inspired by the Roque Bentayga, a peak in the Canary Islands. The name Taiga is intriguing and exotic, and would have worked great. However, by incorporating the "Bent," the name sounds repetitive and doesn't fit with the staid, luxurious presence of Bentleys. 

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Top Ten Current Car Model Names


10. Chevrolet Sonic
This bold name fits the striking front fascia of the Sonic perfectly, and the exposed head and taillights always reminded me of a subwoofer on a speaker.

 9. Bentley Flying Spur
The Flying Spur originally was a designation for the sedan variant of the Continental, but it became a separate model in 2013. While there was a British tea ship known by this name in the late 1860s, I've found no direct link between the clipper and the über-luxury sedan. Nonetheless, this is one cool, elegant, and slightly mysterious name for the Conti sedan.

8. Chevrolet Volt
Although not quite as glamorous as the Flying Spur, the "Volt" name works because of just how appropriate it is. A volt is a unit of measure relating to electricity and movement of current in an electric circuit, which fits perfectly for the plug-in hybrid electric Chevy. It sure is a lot better sounding than it competitor, the Nissan Leaf.

7. Porsche Panamera
While this name is derived from the endurance race "Carrera Panamericana," which took place four times in the 1950's in Mexico, that was not why I included it on this list. Phonetically, I think it rolls off the tongue perfectly and also looks very nice when written, most likely because of the semi-symmetrical nature of the "a-n-a-m" section.

6. Dodge Durango
This tough SUV has a very appropriate name in the "Durango." Called this for the city in Colorado, it has a particularly rural, cowboy, Wild West feel to it, and when said aloud the "a-n-g" produces a Western twang.

5. Maserati Quattroporte
Though I wasn't a fan of the fifth generation Quattroporte, I have always loved the stylish-sounding name. In Italian, "Quattroporte" simply means "four-door," describing the Maser's sedan body style. But to non-Italian speakers, it sounds exotic, and quite luxurious.

 4. Dodge/SRT Viper
Just look at the slinky Dodge sports car, and try not to think of a vicious, venomous snake. This is one of the most aptly named cars of all time, especially considering the fifth generation's sleeker curves and even more aggressive front fascia.

3. Jeep Renegade
When the ambitiously styled Renegade Concept debuted in 2008 and was immediately designated as a design study, I was disappointed that I wouldn't ever see a Jeep Renegade production model. Lucky for me, the name revived for a funky subcompact crossover in the 2015 model year. The rebellious nature of this name fits in with the "all-American" Detroit advertising scheme which Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep and Ram have been using of late, and matches Jeep's slew of other outdoorsy, patriotic names, including the Cherokee, Commander, Wrangler, and Patriot.

2. Aston Martin Vanquish


One of the greatest recent designs from Aston was paired with paired with one of my favorite names of all time. The powerful grand tourer features many strong, backward sweeping character lines, which is accurately mirrored in the swooshing sound that is produced by the "i-s-h." Also, while the word sounds elegant, its means "to defeat thoroughly," showing the Aston's performance aspirations.

1. Ford Mustang
While the term "mustang" refers to a small, wild horse, the legendary sports car was actually named for the P-51 Mustang, a fighter plane produced by North American for WWII (Though the horse was chosen for the logo). But the key similarity between the beast and the machine is their small structure and fast, aggressive nature. This is exemplified is the car's iconic trapezoidal grille, angled headlights, and bulging rear haunches. Overall, the qualities of speed and size seen in the Mustang's inspirations make the name a perfect fit for the classic pony car.


Honorable Mention- Tesla Model S, III, X
While it is quite juvenile, I, as a 16 year-old boy, appreciate Elon Musk's current plans to eventually have a model lineup consisting of the Model S, III, and X for the not-that-subtle sexual innuendo.