10 Worst Current Car Model Names

A little while ago, I covered my top ten favorite car model names, and now it's time to look at the worst ten of the current crop of vehicles. Note that this is only for the United States market, which excludes all of the absurd names from Japan-only cars, like the Nissan Homy Super Long. This also leaves out the European markets, but in the future I will do a top ten list that covers those vehicles. Without further ado, here are the worst ten current model names:

10. Toyota Yaris

Toyota Yaris at the 2015 NYIAS

The unusual name Yaris is derived from the singular form of "Charites," the Greek goddesses of charm and beauty. All three generations of the Yaris (sold as the Echo in the US in its first iteration) have been neither beautiful nor charming, instead being bland and forgettable. I guess Toyota thinks too highly of its designers, because the name Yaris simply doesn't fit.

9. Volkswagen Tiguan

VW Tiguan GTE Active Concept at the 2016 NYIAS

Tiguan sounds weird, but it gets even stranger once you know where the name comes from. Supposedly, Tiguan is a portmanteau of the German words for Tiger ("tiger") and iguana ("leguan"). I am not sure how tigers and iguanas are related, and what either animal has to do with a German compact crossover. This combination is odd and very contrived.

8. Buick LaCrosse

Buick LaCrosse at the 2016 NYIAS

I always assumed that the LaCrosse was named for something other than the sport, but believe it or not, it is. Why a sensible premium sedan is named for an often violent, fast-paced sport is beyond me, but what I also dislike about this name is the way GM decided to spell it out. Last I checked, lacrosse did not have a uppercase "C," so this capitalization feels totally unnecessary.

7. Mitsubishi Mirage

Mistubishi Mirage at the 2016 NYIAS

Mirage is a fun word to say since the "aaj" sound rolls off the tongue well, but the definition makes customers second-guess the hatchback's abilities. The official definition according to Merriam-Webster is "something that you hope for or want but is not possible or real." Considering that Mistubishi's fuel economy numbers have been a mirage for many Japanese customers since 2002, this is not a moniker that establishes confidence in the customer.

6. Hyundai Veloster

Hyundai Veloster at the 2014 NYIAS

According to Hyundai, Veloster is a combination of "velocity" and "roadster." The first thing that is obviously wrong with the name is that the Veloster is not a roadster, but a hatchback. The "velocity" part is also misleading--the base comes with a paltry 132 hp (adding a turbo gets the inline-4 to 201 hp), and the zero to sixty times never breach the 6.8 second mark. While the name is not in any way applicable to the hatch, my biggest issue with it is that the word simply sounds childish.

5. Maserati Ghibli

Maserati Ghibli at the 2016 NYIAS

Yes, I know the Ghibli name hearkens back to 1960's grand tourer, but still the name sounds really odd to me. The combination of i's and l's does not communicate luxury or sportiness to my ears--instead I picture a small Japanese kei car. Perhaps it is that Ghibli makes me think of the comedic dwarf character Gimli from the Lord of the Rings franchise, but this does not feel like an appropriate name for a luxury sedan.

4. Mercedes-Benz Metris

Mercedes-Benz Metris at the 2015 NYIAS

I love vans, and I welcome any new entry to the American van market, but the name Mercedes chose for their newest small van confuses me. I haven't been able to find a meaning behind it, and whenever I read or say it I think of Tetris, the famous tile-matching puzzle video game.

3. Jaguar F-Pace

Jaguar F-Pace at the 2016 NYIAS

Admit it. F-Pace does not sound smooth, despite the SUV's sleek bodywork. The name does not follow Jaguar's current naming scheme, an X followed by another letter (XE, XF, XJ). By starting the name with an F, it inherently sounds like a vulgar insult. Overall, the name is not dynamic and does not conjure up images of speed or luxury.

2. Ferrari LaFerrari

Ferrari LaFerrari at the Ferrari Museum in Modena

Oh no! A Ferrari on a "worst of" list! What a sacrilege! The LaFerrari is certainly an automotive spectacle, both for its beauty and insane performance, but the name is completely lazy. It translates as "Ferrari TheFerrari," and the repetition does not sound as sexy as the supercar looks. It is easy to overlook such a bad name when the styling is so stunning and the performance is so dazzling, but when it comes down to it, LaFerrari is a disappointing name.

1. Bentley Bentayga

Bentley Bentayga at the 2016 NYIAS

Bentley's first foray into the SUV segment also has a repetitive name. The name supposedly comes from a mix of the company's name and Taiga, the world's largest transcontinental snow forest, while also being inspired by the Roque Bentayga, a peak in the Canary Islands. The name Taiga is intriguing and exotic, and would have worked great. However, by incorporating the "Bent," the name sounds repetitive and doesn't fit with the staid, luxurious presence of Bentleys. 

Artistic Photo #7

Dodge Challenger in Miami, Florida (Taken on February 14, 2016)

2017 Kia Sportage

Designer Peter Schreyer is best known for his work on the original Audi TT, widely considered to be one of the most beautiful cars of the early 2000s. He is also responsible for turning around Kia's bland, low-end image by pioneering the bold and stylish "Tiger Nose" grille in the late 2000s. He oversaw the attractive designs that caused the new perception of Kia as modern, fashionable vehicles: the third generation Optima, Forte Koup, Soul, and third generation Sportage. As chief designer of Kia, the Korean automaker has continued to churn out distinctive, appealing designs. The fourth generation 2017 Sportage is yet another striking, mostly handsome vehicle, although it does have a couple of minor faults.

Kia says the fresh design is inspired by modern fighter jets. Some of the design elements are reminiscent of military aircraft--the four round fog lights look similar to the rocket launchers on helicopters like the Boeing AH-64 Apache. Additionally, the orientation of the headlights also makes the SUV look a bit like a fighter jet, creating a distinct, set back cockpit and a seemingly pointy front. However, the fact the headlights are significantly higher on the front fascia than the grille gives it a bug-eyed look. This makes the Sportage stand out in the ever-growing herd of crossovers, but also makes the Kia quite odd looking. Luckily, the intricate details of the front end make up for the slightly awkward orientation. The aforementioned fog lights look phenomenal, and the piano black surfacing in the fog lamp housings and grille looks clean and luxurious. The bi-xenon headlights are beautifully complex, and the light of the inside unit looks like a radioactive symbol--perhaps my favorite detail on the Sportage.

Soft, elegant character lines flow rearwards from the front fender, and defined wheel arches give this crossover a slight off-road presence.  Black plastic cladding wraps around the Sportage, from the front bumper, over the wheel wells, under the doors and back to the rear bumper. Plastic can often make a car look cheap if applied in large quantities, but the Sportage's cladding actually adds to the all-terrain image. Chrome lining surrounds the windows, which end abruptly at the rear wheels, leaving a large C-pillar. While this makes the car look more athletic, it could create a very large blind spot.

The rear fascia of the Sportage looks extremely classy and far more premium than the competitors from Ford, Chevy, Honda, and Toyota. The full-width taillight, with its upscale LED components and chrome strip, is reminiscent of the taillights on the current crop of Lincolns. However, it still gives the the Sportage a sophisticated attitude. This is complemented by the sculpted contours on the trunk and bumper. Two large chrome exhaust pipes adds to the Kia's sporty image, while the silver plastic in the bumper contributes to the luxurious appearance. Despite a slightly awkward front end, the new Sportage features an exquisite, high-end design for an affordable price.

Grade
Front: B+
Back: A-
Overall: A-

DRIVEN: Mercedes-Benz C300

As we stood at the faux-wood desk in the noisy airport, I flipped through the rental agency's book that showed each of their offerings. I had just found out that our rental car was going to be a Toyota Camry--not the most exciting choice. As I turned the pages I pestered my dad about renting the least practical, and therefore coolest, cars I could find: Corvettes, Mustangs, and G-Classes. He ignored my suggestions and continued working out the details with the attendant. However, I then came upon the C-Class, and suggested this to my dad, with the preface that it is a relatively sensible family sedan. Amazingly it worked, and we soon had the keys to a Mercedes in hand. For one week our daily driver was a car adorned with the famous three-pointed star, and I was able to take a close look at both the interior and exterior design, as well as get a chance to take it for a quick spin.

The majestic Mercedes-Benz S-Class (W222 in Merc-code) debuted for the 2014 model year, and it showed off the German carmaker's new design language. The new look pioneered by the luxo-barge has trickled down to Mercedes's less expensive options, including the C-Class. Many have called the C-Class a clone of the S-Class, and the two cars can be difficult to tell apart from a distance. While the C-Class's looks are derivative, when viewed on its own, it is a drop-dead gorgeous sedan, even in base C300 spec. 

Since our C-Class was a rental car, it came in the most basic form possible, the C300 trim level with no optional packages. Even without the intricate, optional LED headlights, the Merc has a handsome face. Curved headlights aggressively point inwards and slightly downwards. The inside line of the headlights follows the outside edge of the elegant grille. A large logo sits dead center, with two upscale, chrome wings extending out from either side. The grille sits farther out than the headlights, causing the center of the logo to almost appear to be the beginning of the vehicle, and that the rest of the car extends backwards from that point. Beneath the main grille sits an upside-down trapezoidal mesh grille, which is flanked by sporty vents. The black latticework on these lower intakes creates an athletic look, which is accentuated by a comfortable, yet capable, looking stance. Angry creases flow over the tops of the vents into the lower grille, and swooping character lines extend back along the headlights and into the side panels. The chrome strip beneath the lower grille and the extra, small Mercedes logo on the hood round out the opulent look of the front of the C-Class.

A crease extends down the middle of the hood from the logo to the windshield, while other lines stretch back to the A-pillar. Piano black B-pillars and a chrome window outline carry the upscale appearance to the side of the sedan. Expressive, nearly-horizontal character lines run from the front fender to the rear wheels. Speaking of wheels, the C-Class's hubcaps feature a five-spoke, silver design, with each spoke having a hollowed out center. These large hubcaps stand out, and give the Mercedes a brawny attitude. 

The lower character line continues on the other side of the wheel well, and flows seamlessly to form the bumper. The plunging vertical taillights sweep downwards alongside the outline of the trunk, creating a coherently designed rear end. A chrome bar stretching across the trunk and the shiny strip and chrome exhaust pipes on the lower bumper add a touch of luxury to the Merc's back.

Inside, the Mercedes-Benz is a class act: both stylish and easy to use. The doors close with authority, and the sills feature chrome "Mercedes-Benz" branding. The center console features Merc's COMAND infotainment system, which includes a iPad-like screen, and, where a gear shifter would have normally belonged, a touchpad atop a knob. Our car did not come with navigation, so the infotainment system was used for music alone. The touchpad and knob were fairly easy to use--the pad recognizes north-south-east-west swipes, and can be clicked to select items on the screen. It was quite similar to using a modern smartphone, and looked sleek and stylish as well. The digital layout on the screen was clean and well organized; however, it featured pale yellow accents, which looked cheap.

Above the COMAND system control pad was piano black section that contained a hidden cubby, a series of switches and buttons, the CD slot, and the air conditioning vents. The silver plastic switches contrasted well against the shiny black trim piece, and felt solid when pushed. The three circular vents are easily adjustable and look phenomenal--they are almost reminiscent of the front of a propellor airplane. 

The placement of the touchpad means that there isn't space for a conventional gear knob. Instead, gears are changed via a stalk behind the steering wheel. This different method of switching in and out of "Drive" was initially very disorienting--at first I would reach for a traditional shifter and come up with nothing but air. However, I grew used to it, and actually came to like it since shifting into "Park" required simply pushing a button. The steering wheel in front of this stalk was well-sized, and the button layouts only included the most important functions. The gauge display behind the wheel was clean and easy to read while driving.

Perhaps one of my favorite things about the interior of the C-Class were the adjustable seats. Detailed controls, in the shape of seats, are situated just above the door handles. This type of control allowed for a wide range of adjustments, in terms of which part of the seat needed adjusting and how much it needed to be changed.

The backseats weren't quite as luxurious as the front buckets. While there was ample headroom and a solid amount of legroom, the materials felt overall slightly cheaper. The large silver trim piece on the doors felt quite empty, and the plastic-leather around the vents felt inexpensive. My only other complaint about the C-Class was its sound system, which overall felt tinny; electric guitar-heavy songs sounded very thin while the bass was barely distinguishable when listening to bass-heavy tracks.

The C-Class made up for that by being an absolute hoot to drive. The 241 hp turbo inline-four provided the sedan with zippy pickup. While it's no C63 AMG V8 powerhouse, the straight-four even emitted a pretty satisfying growl when I floored the accelerator. The steering felt heavy, but in a assertive, perhaps German, way that made me feel very confident in my ability to control of the car. The C-Class felt very nimble when making turns, and combined with the assertive steering, I felt I was able to enter corners a few miles per hour faster than I might have in my family's 2003 VW Passat or a 2014 Honda Accord. Overall, the ride was very soft and smooth--I felt virtually zero bumps while driving the Merc. The seats were extremely comfortable, hugging my body when I dove into turns. The only issue I found when driving the C-Class was in using the turning signal stalk. Pushing it down or up felt like it took far more effort than usual. Other than this minor problem, driving this beautiful, luxurious sedan was an absolute joy.

Grade

Front: A

Back: A

Overall Exterior: A

Front Seats: A

Rear Seats: B+

Overall Interior: A- 

Driving: A

Artistic Photo #6

1962 Plymouth Fury 4-door hardtop in Brooklyn, New York (Taken on September 28, 2015)

Scion Is Dead: How Poor Design Killed A Brand

Scion FR-S

Toyota recently announced that it would be discontinuing the Scion brand, rebadging some models as Toyotas and killing off others. Scion, which sold compact vehicles geared toward young buyers, was introduced in 2002, and its first models were shown in 2003 for the 2004 model year. While Scion sold fairly well in its first few years, peaking at 173,000 sales in 2006, Scion had trouble moving vehicles off the lot after that, with sales dropping as low as 45,000 for the whole brand in 2010, less than the amount of xB's purchased in 2004 alone. Despite Toyota's best efforts to market supposedly quirky vehicles to young customers, sales diminished rapidly.

Second generation tC

In 2004, Scion burst onto the scene with three new models, the xA, xB and tC. The xA, a small hatchback based on the JDM Toyota ist, was rather unremarkable looking. It featured a body colored grille, quasi-square headlights, and a floating roof. The xA performed well in comparison tests, and while it was the slowest selling Scion, it did not do too terribly. The xB, a rebadged Toyota bB, featured a radical boxy design. Right angles were everywhere, from the silhouette to the headlights to the window shapes. The xB sold extremely well, gained a cult following, was often the subject of aftermarket modification, and caused the introduction of the Nissan Cube and Kia Soul. While not everyone's cup of tea, the xB's unusual design certainly stood out in the U.S. market. The final model from 2004 was the tC, a sporty compact coupe. The tC had aggressive headlights and a mean-looking, thin, rectangular grille. With its athletic stance the mildly attractive tC was Scion's bestseller.

Second generation tC

Scion introduced the xD, a replacement for the xA, in 2004. Still based on the ist, the xD had a mix of curved and straight lines that resulted in slightly awkward styling. The small headlights were mounted high on the front fascia, while the grille was very low, creating a bug-eye look. The xD also had a extremely wide C-pillar, which caused a massive blind spot. The xD sold far worse than its predecessor, and was discontinued in 2014.

Scion iA

A second generation xB was introduced in 2007, with more rounded styling that still evoked the boxiness of the original. The skinny, set-back grille made the xB look like it had a serious underbite, and like the xD, a large C-pillar caused visibility issues. The bloated second generation's sales quickly plummeted.

The popular tC received a full redesign in 2011. More rectangular, sharper headlights, a slightly forward-leaning stance, and expressive character lines contributed to a handsome design. Nonetheless, sales dropped off, and even a facelift in 2014 could not help the tC.

Scion iA

For the 2012 model year, Scion introduced the iQ, a small city car based on the nearly identical Toyota iQ. With oversized headlights and a blacked out C-pillar, the iQ was not a bad looking car, but it proved too small for American tastes. It was discontinued just 3 years later.

The next year, Toyota rebadged its GT86 sports car as the Scion FR-S. The coupe featured angled headlights, a swept back cabin, and intricate sideways "b" shaped taillights. The best looking Scion model sold slowly, but luckily this model is going to be folded into the Toyota brand when Scion becomes no more later in 2016.

Scion iM

In 2015, Scion brought out two new models: the iA and iM. The iA, based on the handsome Mazda2 sedan underneath the bodywork, featured an ugly mug full of straight lines that contrasted drastically with the Mazda's curvy character lines and oddly placed creases beneath the headlights. While sales were dismal in its first year, the iA is going to be transferred to its parent company. The iM was a rebadged Toyota Auris, and therefore was a strikingly attractive hatchback. The angular headlights and thin grille, large vents on the lower front fascia, and wide taillights created a slick looking vehicle. Sales were similar to the iA, and the iM too will become a Toyota.

Scion iM

One possible issue for Scion's dismal sales was that many of its models competed in the same price ranges as Toyota models, but the fact that many of its models were either revolting or uninspiring to look at certainly did not help things. Since the FR-S and iM are continuing production, there is not much of Scion that will be missed. Like Geo, Eagle, and Saturn in the 1990s, Scion will fade into the past as yet another failed attempt at a cheap, compact car company.

1984 Ferrari Testarossa

The Testarossa is one of Ferrari's most iconic sports cars and one of Pininfarina's best designs. Large posters featuring this flashy coupe covered teenagers' bedroom walls throughout the 1980s and 1990s. The Testarossa has always been one of my favorite cars, even though I had never seen one until this summer. However, while visiting Modena, Italy I had the chance to spend many many hours drooling over the beauties at the local car museums, including the Museo Enzo Ferrari which has this gorgeous red Testarossa in its collection. (Testarossa means "red head" in Italian, and while it refers to the paint on the cylinder heads in the engine, red is certainly a fitting hue for the car.) The next few paragraphs will just be me praising the Testarossa nonstop, so I completely understand if you want to just stare at the photos instead. Anyway, here I go:

The Testarossa is remarkably aerodynamic—its drag coefficient of .36 beat the Lamborghini Countach's .42, and the Countach looks extremely slippery itself. This drag coefficient translates into a curvier variation of the wedge designs of the 1970s, with a dramatically sloped hood stretching back to a low-to-the-ground cabin. Hidden headlights add to the smooth, sexy front end. The thin, rectangular lower grille and running lights emphasizes the wide, athletic stance that makes the Testarossa stand out. The narrow vent just in front of the windshield further accentuates the car's width, and hints at the 390 hp V12 beast lurking behind the cabin that propelled it to 60 mph in 5.3 seconds.

The side view of the Testarossa is dominated by striking side strakes, which cool the engine. The length and horizontal nature of the strakes make the car appear longer and lower, and therefore much faster. They also make the Testarossa instantly recognizable. Above the strakes broad haunches emerge, making the Ferrari look as if it is on the verge of leaping forward even when it is at rest.

The rear fascia expands upon the design of the side strakes. Five thin, black, metal bars stretch from end to end, caging in the taillights and rectangular grille. This highlights the Testarossa's width and causes the Ferrari to look like it is hugging the road. Two sets of dual-exhaust pipes stresses the sports car's performance credentials. The buttresses extend from the roof, causing a smooth, sloping silhouette. The Testarossa is without a doubt one of Pinifarina's masterpieces, and one of the most beautiful Ferraris of all time.

Grade
Front: A
Back: A
Overall: A